I'm starting to believe that the reason we find ourselves grasping so hard to the little youth left in some of us and longing for the younger days, has its valid explanations. Could it be that it isn't really youth we're longing for? but perhaps the sense of fearlessness we once was so at home with? there's no doubt that sagging skin and aching joints, aren't much of a sunny side up, but is that all there is to this longing? or maybe a fear of death?
I think the one reason i fear growing older is because i fear. As young ones experiencing things first hand for the first time, we march into all our battles with fists held high and the supposed courage of a godly den of lions. Many a time, we come back totally defeated and torn apart and then in following battles, we grow more weary. More afraid. More careful. We don't live our lives doing the things we used to do. Foolish as we might perceive it, it is that childish bravery that i long to have once again.
Our lives grow more reserved with each passing pain. Reserved love instead of unconditional ones. Filtered words instead of steadfast truth. Sensible feelings instead of raw emotions. Things become more of a game or a stage of good relations.
I dont know which one beats the other? Is maturity really a good thing? What would the world be like to have its childish innocence again? What would i be like if i was without fear once again? Was there even a time i was ever fearless? My my, nothing is ever as it seems...
" You're a little late, I'm already torn." - Torn, Natalie Imbruglia
0 Yorumlar